Restorative Conversations

Have you noticed that most Restorative Practices are just conversations? Well structured, open, honest, disciplined, respectful, insightful, and usually quite productive conversations?

Restorative conversations can be
- incidental within other conversations
- informal
- gatherings (e.g. circles) or
- formal restorative meetings or conferences

Restorative conversations involve statements and questions, in particular,
- affective statements
- restorative questions

As a result of the careful way in which they are structured, restorative conversations reveal and share insights that provide a basis for
- knowing what has happened
- understanding the impacts of what has happened
- sharing responsibility for what has happened, and
- repairing any harm done
- improving relationships

All conversations are social interactions. Restorative conversations are examples of the highest order of social interaction: “working with”.  Consequently, the outcomes of restorative conversations are usually sustainable and significantly better than a zero-sum result. And this helps to explain why restorative practices have been so successful in improving schools and other organisations - restorative conversations work!!

Notes:
(1) Working with others involves both high levels of challenge and high levels of support.
This and contrasts with
- “neglecting” = ignoring or abandoning: low challenge/low support,
- “working on” = controlling and punitive: high control/low support
- “working for” = rescuing: low challenge/high support
(2) Most controlling and punitive activity is based on the notion that, at best, the situation has a zero-sum outcome!!